Do you know what it is to live in your highest values?
These days, the words ‘purpose’ and ‘values’ are everywhere. Companies talk about their purpose or their mission and put their values up on a bronze plaque in the foyer for employees and customers to read.
But that is not what we mean when we talk about purpose or living in your highest values.
At Kaibizzen, we believe your values and your purpose are intimately connected.
This is because to live in your highest values is to realise your true purpose. As business coaches, our perspective is that your true purpose is simply to be the best version of yourself you can be.
The only way you can fully realise your potential – and actually be your best self – is to know and live to your highest values.
In life, we have a natural tendency to prioritise the things we enjoy, that make us feel good and positively reinforce our sense of self-belief. Conversely, we de-prioritise the things in life that we don’t enjoy, or we perceive impact us negatively.
If you have children, you’ll know that there are some things you never have to ask them to do, they will naturally do it. Whereas there are many other things you’re constantly having to beg, bribe or coerce your children for them to complete a particular task.
If we all grew up in a perfect world where we were always supported to be exactly who we were and never forced to modify or adapt our behaviour, then we’d all naturally be living in our highest priorities. Most likely the world would exist only as a utopia – where everyone feels fulfilled and purposeful.
However, no-one – no matter how loved or privileged – grows up in a perfect environment. Over time, most of us are forced to live outside of or incongruent with our true highest values in order to conform to society’s expectations of us.
Mothers are told their children and family have to be their highest priority, regardless of this being their truth or not. In the same vein, men are told their work or the way they earn an income, must be their highest priority. In some cultures, community is enforced as the highest value, whereas in other social groups, perhaps health or appearance is of primary importance.
Simply put, people who are living their life in complete alignment with their highest life priorities (their values) feel fulfilled and purposeful day in and day out – irrespective of the circumstances they find themselves in.
People who are living their lives out of alignment with their highest life priorities feel (to varying degrees) frustrated, challenged, at a loss, uncertain, lacking direction, unmotivated, apathetic, depressed, anxious, disconnected and not in flow. Again, this is irrespective of the external circumstances.
After studying human behaviour and applying its principles for over 30 years, as well as coaching in the same fields for more than 18 years, my husband Rob and I have identified 14 life priorities which are the unique combinations of what drives the behaviour of every human on the planet.
The 14 categories are…
At Kaibizzen, the process we take our clients through is to identify which of the 14 specifically make up their top three highest values. Some of these priorities will inherently be higher than others, so needless to say, not all 14 can be your highest priority.
Because many of us are so conditioned to live lives that are incongruent with our highest priorities, often we’re doing activities which we think are aligned with our highest priorities, but are not.
Here are two simple tactics we use at Kaibizzen to help clients identify activities which are out of alignment with their highest values.
Anyactivity you’re doing because you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ do it is not congruent with your highest priorities.
If you’re telling yourself you should exercise, then your relationship with either your health or your fitness (or both) is not a high priority for you.
If spending time with your birth family leaves you feeling drained, then your relationship with your birth family is not high in your values.
Now does this mean that you never exercise or see your family because it’s not high in your life priorities?
It simply means, you don’t prioritise those activities above the ones that are extremely important to you.
Let me share with you a personal example.
As a woman raised in a certain era, I was brought up to believe that my purpose in life was to become a wife and mother, and my relationship with my husband and children should be my highest priority.
Well, guess what? My relationship with my husband and children is not my highest priority. My relationship to my business is my highest priority. Does that mean I don’t love my husband or children? Of course not. I love them dearly. Every day I express my gratitude for them and the extreme blessing they are to me.
However, it does mean that I am at my best when I prioritise the activity that most deeply feeds my soul, which is running my business. When I do that, I am by default a better wife to my husband, mother to my children and grandmother to my grandchildren, because my spirit is full and I have an overflow of love to share. If I was forced to stay at home, I would still love my children, but they wouldn’t get the best of me, because the very thing that feeds my soul isn’t present.
When we unapologetically live to our highest priorities, our relationship to everything else in our life improves. This is because the core of who we are is expressed in its fullest form.
If you are searching to identify your highest priorities but you are unsure where to start, fill out our contact us form today. We’d love to support you in achieving the lifestyle you went into business for.
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