Just this past week, I was running a workshop with one of our client’s management team.
We were discussing the mindset required to shift from thinking “sales” to “solutions providers” -identifying what our customer’s pains are and then providing a solution to their problem.
One of the participants (let’s call him Fred) remarked “I get that but no matter how I coach it, my team tell me I’m just tricking them and they still see it as sales”. In response, one of the other participants commented they didn’t have that problem with their team.
Having gained their permission at the beginning of the day to be their coach, I asked him “Fred do you mind if I coach you for a minute?” Fred agreed to be coached.
“Fred, how is that reaction from your team a reflection of your belief that no matter how much you tell yourself you are providing a solution to your customers, you are still selling?” I asked.
It was a huge a-ha moment for Fred.
Earlier in his career Fred had been a door to door salesperson, selling a product he knew “ripped people off”. Even though he was now a manager, with a great “sales” record in the business he now worked in, we discussed how his desire for success was greater than his belief about sales. Nevertheless, that deep-seated belief was still there, and his team were directly reflecting that belief back to him.
If you’ve EVER wondered, WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING???
Read on, my friend. This one’s for you.
Another client (let’s call her Mary), one of the owners of a business we work with, has been repeatedly falling into deep depression every Monday after the weekly management team meeting.
What my husband, and Kaibizzen’s Performance Coach, Rob was able to uncover with Mary is that as a child, her parents were constantly telling her she was stupid. She had overhead her parents tell her grandmother that she would never amount to anything.
At the management meeting, whenever Mary had a point to make, she always felt that no-one took her seriously and that her ideas were stupid.
Yet another client (Greg), challenged with being overweight all his life, was able to share with Rob how as a child at school, he remembers being the last child in the group, waiting to be chosen by the team leaders. Both of them told Greg they didn’t want him in their team, because he was “too fat”.
Yet another client (Tom), like Mary, had been told by his parents that he was not as good as his brother. Tom’s motivation in building his business was to prove his mother wrong.
Tom was very good at his business. He’d make a lot of money and then he’d think, “My business is going really well, so I’m going to go overseas for 6 months,” (again to show his mum he’d made it).
However, Tom would always come back to a failing business, so he’d build it up again. Then he’d go away again and yes you guessed it he’d come back to a mess.
Every one of these examples share a commonality– at some point in their life…
Fred, Mary, Greg and Tom had taken on that story and from that point on it was his-story or her-story that he or she kept telling themselves – subconsciously. The results that they got were a direct reflection of that subconscious story.
These stories bring to mind the quote of Desmond Tutu, the South African Anglican cleric and theologian known for his work as an anti-apartheid and human rights activist. Desmond is renowned for saying “we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they’re falling in”.
As a business owner, what are some patterns of behaviour or habits that you know that you do regularly. Some of the behaviours/habits I have seen business owners display are:
…. And the list goes on.
What I’ve learned from working with people and learning about human behaviour is that every belief or habit that we have has come from the his-story or her-story that we keep telling ourselves.
You know deep down that what you’re doing isn’t helpful, but you keep beating yourself up about it as well as keeping on doing it.
When I ask a client what benefit are they getting out of it, they tell me they aren’t getting a benefit. My response is “That’s BS. If you weren’t getting a benefit you would stop doing it”.
So how do I stop you ask?
Are there members of your team that are habitually doing the same thing?
…. And the list goes on
What do you have to do stop pulling them out of river/stop them from falling in?
At Kaibizzen, our philosophy of business is that your business is the tool to make the life you want for yourself and your family. Too many business owners have a business where they’re the main tool – doing all the hard work. Whilst there are many reasons for this, one of them is that rather than taking the necessary action to work on themselves first and foremost – to stop people are “falling in to the river” in the first place, they’re putting all their effort into continuously pulling themselves and/or their team out of the river. No wonder most business owners are stressed and exhausted!
If you’d like to know how we work with other business owners just like you to create great businesses which reward their owners for the years of effort they’ve put in, reach out. We’d love to help you create a business which gives you the results you want for yourself and your family.
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