How To Have A Happy Life

  • by kaibizzen
  • Jun 02, 2021
  • Blog

Human behaviour is such that we all have a natural tendency to prioritise the things which we enjoy and make us feel good. When we feel good about what we’re doing, we feel good about ourselves and who we are, which positively reinforces our sense of self-belief. No matter how busy we are we always find the time to do the things we like to do.

On the other side of the coin, we rarely make the time to do the things we don’t enjoy or we don’t believe we are good at it. When we do things which don’t feel good, it will often reinforce feelings of low self-belief which will impact us negatively.

As a parent, friend or a person’s manager, you’ll know that there are some things you never have to ask your child, friend, or employee to do, they just naturally do it. Whereas there are many other things you’re constantly having to beg, bribe or coerce them to do.

This is simply because, like you, there are some things which they are naturally inspired to do – and other things which they are not.

And in this simple truth is the key to happiness…

This is because for any of us to be truly happy we need only to be the best version of ourselves we can be.

The only way to be your very best self and fully realise your potential is to know and live to your life priorities. Living to your highest life priorities – doing those things which you want to do AND makes you happy – is exactly how each of us will live our own version of a happy life.

Being happy means living to your highest life priorities.

If we all grew up in a perfect world, where we were always supported to be exactly who we are and never forced to modify or adapt our behaviour, then we’d all naturally be living in our highest priorities. Most likely the world would exist as a Utopia. Everyone feeling fulfilled and purposeful day in and day out. Everyone positively contributing to their own highest good, which works collectively for the common good.

However, no-one, no matter how loved or privileged, grows up in a ‘perfect’ environment. Over time most of us are forced to live outside of, or incongruent with, our true highest values in order to conform to society’s expectations of us.

Mothers are told their children, their family, have to be their highest priority whether or not this is their truth. Men are told their work, or the way they earn an income, must be their highest priority, whether it’s true for them or not. In some cultures, community is enforced as the highest value, whereas in other social groups, perhaps health or our appearance is of primary importance.

Simply put, people who are living their life in complete alignment with their highest life priorities feel fulfilled and purposeful day in and day out – irrespective of the circumstances they find themselves in.

People who are living their lives out of alignment with their highest life priorities feel (to varying degrees) frustrated, challenged, at a loss, uncertain, lacking direction, unmotivated, apathetic, depressed, anxious, disconnected and not in flow. Again, this is irrespective of the external circumstances.

What are my life priorities?

After studying human behaviour and applying its principles for over 30 years and coaching in the field for nearly 18 years now, my husband Rob and I have identified fourteen Life Priorities, the unique combinations of which drive the behaviour of every human on the planet.

The Fourteen categories are…

  • My Relationship with my Partner
  • My Relationship with my Children
  • My Relationship with my (Birth) Family
  • My Relationship with Myself
  • My Relationship with my Personal Development
  • My Relationship with Spending Money
  • My Relationship with Investment Money
  • My Relationship with my Health
  • My Relationship with my Fitness
  • My Relationship with my Appearance
  • My Relationship with my Friends
  • My Relationship with my Community
  • My Relationship with my Spirituality
  • My Relationship with my Money-Earning Capacity (Job/Business)

The process we take our clients through is to identify which of the fourteen specifically make up their top three highest values is beyond the scope of this post but suffice to say not all fourteen can be your highest priorities. Some will inherently be more important to you than others.

How To Identify Your Lowest Priorities

Because many of us are so conditioned to live lives that are incongruent with our highest priorities, often we’re doing activities which we think are aligned with our highest priorities, but aren’t truly aligned.

Here are two really simple ways to identify activities you’re performing which are out of alignment.

  1. You ‘Should’ All Over Yourself
  2. You Feel ‘Drained’ By an Activity

ANY activity you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ do, is not congruent with your highest priorities.

If you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ exercise, then your relationship with either your health or your fitness (or both) is not a high priority for you.

If spending time with your birth family leaves you feeling drained, then your relationship with your birth family is not high in your values.

Now does this mean that you never exercise or see your family because it’s not high in your life priorities?


It simply means, you don’t prioritise those activities above the ones that are extremely important to you.

A Personal Example

As a woman raised in a certain era, I was brought up to believe that my lot in life was to become a wife and mother, my relationship with my husband and children should be my highest priority.

Well, guess what.

My relationship with my husband and children is not my highest priority. My relationship to my business is my highest priority. Does that mean I don’t love my husband or children? Of course not. I love them dearly. Every day I express my gratitude for them and the extreme blessing they are to me.

It does mean however that I am at my best when I prioritise the activity that most deeply feeds my soul, which is running my business. When I do that, I am by default a better wife to my husband, mother to my children and grandmother to my grandchildren, because my spirit is full and I have an overflow of love to share. If I was forced to stay at home, I would still love my children, but they wouldn’t get the best of me, because the very thing that feeds my soul isn’t present.

This is how it is when we unapologetically live to our highest priorities. Our relationship to everything else in our life improves. This is because the core of who we are is expressed in its fullest form.

If you’d like to know how you too can live in your highest priorities, I encourage you to reach out. Rob and I are here to work alongside you as you achieve the lifestyle for you and your family you went into business for.

02 Oct

Panel Discussion

Tuesday, 6:30pm Quest Cannon Hill

What does it take to actually remove yourself from the day-to-day grind of business? Learn from our panel of Business Owners who've Been There, Done That.