What Does It Mean To Live To Your Highest Values

  • by kaibizzen
  • Sep 09, 2020
  • Blog

Do you know what it is to live in your highest values?

These days, the words ‘purpose’ and ‘values’ are everywhere. Companies talk about their ‘purpose’ or their ‘mission’. They put their values up on a bronze plaque in the foyer for employees and customers to read.

But that is not what we mean when we talk about ‘purpose’ and living in your highest ‘values’.

In our view, your values and your purpose are intimately connected.

This is because to live in your highest values is to realise your true purpose.

Our perspective is that your true purpose is simply to be the best version of yourself you can be.

The only way you can fully realise your potential – actually be your very best self – is to know and live to your highest values.

Your Highest Values Are Your Life Priorities

In life, we have a natural tendency to prioritise the things we enjoy, that make us feel good, and positively reinforce our sense of self-belief. Conversely, we de-prioritise the things in life that we don’t enjoy, or we perceive impact us negatively.

If you have children, you’ll know that there are some things you never have to ask them to do, they just naturally do it whereas there are many other things you’re constantly having to beg, bribe or coerce them in order for them to do it.

If we all grew up in a perfect world, where we were always supported to be exactly who we were and never forced to modify or adapt our behaviour, then we’d all naturally be living in our highest priorities. Most likely the world would exist as a Utopia. Everyone feeling fulfilled and purposeful day in and day out. Everyone positively contributing to their own highest good, which works collectively for the common good.

However, no-one, no matter how loved or privileged, grows up in a ‘perfect’ environment. Over time most of us are forced to live outside of or incongruent with our true highest values in order to conform to society’s expectations of us.

Mothers are told their children, their family, have to be their highest priority whether or not this is their truth. Men are told their work, or the way they earn an income, must be their highest priority, whether it’s true for them or not. In some cultures, community is enforced as the highest value, whereas in other social groups, perhaps health or our appearance is of primary importance.

Simply put, people who are living their life in complete alignment with their highest life priorities (their values) feel fulfilled and purposeful day in and day out – irrespective of the circumstances they find themselves in.

People who are living their lives out of alignment with their highest life priorities feel (to varying degrees) frustrated, challenged, at a loss, uncertain, lacking direction, unmotivated, apathetic, depressed, anxious, disconnected and not in flow. Again, this is irrespective of the external circumstances.

The Fourteen Life Priorities

After studying human behaviour and applying its principles for over 30 years and coaching in the field for more than 17 years now, my husband Rob and I have identified fourteen Life Priorities, the unique combinations of which drive the behaviour of every human on the planet.

The Fourteen categories are…

  • My Relationship with my Partner
  • My Relationship with my Children
  • My Relationship with my (Birth) Family
  • My Relationship with Myself
  • My Relationship with my Personal Development
  • My Relationship with Spending Money
  • My Relationship with Investment Money
  • My Relationship with my Health
  • My Relationship with my Fitness
  • My Relationship with my Appearance
  • My Relationship with my Friends
  • My Relationship with my Community
  • My Relationship with my Spirituality
  • My Relationship with my Money-Earning Capacity (Job/Business)

The process we take our clients through is to identify which of the fourteen specifically make up their top three highest values is beyond the scope of this post but suffice to say not all fourteen can be your highest priorities. Some will inherently be more important to you than others.

How To Identify Your Lowest Priorities

Because many of us are so conditioned to live lives that are incongruent with our highest priorities, often we’re doing activities which we think are aligned with our highest priorities, but aren’t truly aligned.

Here are two really simple ways to identify activities you’re performing which are out of alignment.

  1. You ‘Should’ All Over Yourself
  2. You Feel ‘Drained’ By an Activity

ANY activity you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ do, is not congruent with your highest priorities.

If you’re telling yourself you ‘should’ exercise, then your relationship with either your health or your fitness (or both) is not a high priority for you.

If spending time with your birth family leaves you feeling drained, then your relationship with your birth family is not high in your values.

Now does this mean that you never exercise or see your family because it’s not high in your life priorities?


It simply means, you don’t prioritise those activities above the ones that are extremely important to you.

Let me share with you a personal example.

As a woman raised in a certain era, I was brought up to believe that my purpose in life was to become a wife and mother, my relationship with my husband and children should be my highest priority.

Well, guess what.

My relationship with my husband and children is not my highest priority. My relationship to my business is my highest priority. Does that mean I don’t love my husband or children? Of course not. I love them dearly. Every day I express my gratitude for them and the extreme blessing they are to me.

It does mean however that I am at my best when I prioritise the activity that most deeply feeds my soul, which is running my business. When I do that, I am by default a better wife to my husband, mother to my children and grandmother to my grandchildren, because my spirit is full and I have an overflow of love to share. If I was forced to stay at home, I would still love my children, but they wouldn’t get the best of me, because the very thing that feeds my soul isn’t present.

This is how it is when we unapologetically live to our highest priorities. Our relationship to everything else in our life improves. This is because the core of who we are is expressed in its fullest form.

If you’d like to know how you too can live in your highest priorities, I encourage you to reach out. Rob and I are here to work alongside you as you achieve the lifestyle for you and your family you went into business for.

02 Oct

Panel Discussion

Tuesday, 6:30pm Quest Cannon Hill

What does it take to actually remove yourself from the day-to-day grind of business? Learn from our panel of Business Owners who've Been There, Done That.



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