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How to Minimize Stress this Festive Season

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  • Dec 01, 2021
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It’s approaching that time of year when we all get ready to unwind for the holidays.

They are often exhausted and are ready for a much needed break. 

With all the pressure many of us put ourselves under, the weeks leading up to Christmas can be particularly stressful.

As we enter the festive season, we are sharing with you seven tips to minimize your stress.

Check Your Language

One of the reasons we feel stressed at this time of year is we burden ourselves with the expectations of others.

We may hear ourselves saying “I should go and visit Uncle Fred and Aunty Mary,” “I have got to buy my nieces and nephews a present,” and “I have to make a Christmas pudding.”

At Kaibizzen, we are very strong on the philosophy that we all have our own values and life priorities, which are as unique to us as our fingerprint. 

One of the reasons we become exhausted at this time of year is that we live our life according to what our family and society tells us we should be doing at this time of year.

Having worked with business owners for many years, as soon as we hear words like ‘should’ leave our clients’ mouths, we know what they are saying is not a value or priority to them. So, check your language – how much are you saying should when it’s not in line with your own values and life priorities?

Check Your Response

For many of us, this time of year means we often spend time with people we don’t usually spend time with. 

Usually, the expectation is to spend the day with our birth family, who have known us all our lives.  Sometimes things get said that upset us or we have memories of things that happened a long time ago which resurface when we’re around certain people.

When this happens, our normal human response is to react to what is said, whether that’s withdrawing or fighting back. We also blame the other person for whatever feelings we are experiencing.

As part of our Brisbane business coaching agency, one of the disciplines we teach our clients is that none of us have any control over what others say or do, the only thing we can control is how we respond.

This is particularly pertinent when we’re catching up with our birth family, because our response will usually be similar to the response we had to them as children. It’s the main reason why Christmas Day arguments can blow up over the seemingly smallest of issues.

One life lesson we like to tell clients is that whenever someone says or does something, it reflects them and who they chose to be. Your response to them reflects you and who you chose to be. These situations are a perfect personal development opportunity.

Learn to Receive

There’s no doubt that Christmas is the season for giving gifts. Many of us are very good at giving, because we were brought up to believe that “it’s better to give than receive.” 

As a business owner, you dedicate a lot of your time, money and attention to your business. With all the giving you are doing, it is no surprise that by the time you get to this time of the year, you are exhausted. The problem with being so good at giving, it is that we often have not learned how to be good at receiving. There are many reasons for this:

  • We don’t believe we are worthy of what the other is offering, be it a compliment, be it the offer of assistance
  • We have been conditioned to look for the strings attached or we’ve been taught it’s selfish

A good thing for business owners is to remember that the more you are open to receiving, the more the universe opens its gifts to you. Recognizing our resistance to receiving is the first step. We can then examine where that resistance is coming from.

Remember, You are Not Your Feelings

Especially at this time of year, we often hear people saying they are angry or frustrated. What usually causes these feelings are our environment. Unfortunately, the environment that has the greatest impact on us is the words we say out loud or to ourselves.  Anything that follows the two little words “I am” is reinforcing to our subconscious our belief about ourselves and reinforcing our identity. 

Yes, we all have those emotions from time to time.  However, if we keep telling ourselves that we are those emotions, we will continue to experience those feelings.

As business coaches, one piece of advice that we give people who experience these strong feelings is to say “Within me, I have feelings of anger/frustration/sadness etc.” This enables you to acknowledge the feelings that you have, and not make it part of your identity. Then say, “I wonder what would happen if I didn’t have those feelings of anger/frustration/sadness etc?”

You are more like to get on with life because you have addressed it. In addition, it is helpful to remember that you are not your feelings.  This process helps you to look into the feelings not make them who you are.

Learn from the year that’s been

As we come to the end of the year, use the opportunity to reflect on it, and ask yourselves these 10 simple questions:

  1. What have I achieved personally?
  2. What has the business achieved?
  3. What have been my greatest personal challenges?
  4. What have I learned about myself through these personal challenges?
  5. What changes have I made in my life because of these challenges?
  6. What have been my greatest business challenges?
  7. What have I learned about myself through these business challenges?
  8. What changes have I made in my business because of these challenges?
  9. Who have been my greatest supporter/s this year?  How have they supported me? 
  10. Who have been my greatest challenger/s this year?  How has their challenging me helped me to grow?

Stop wishing your life away

Over the last few weeks, I’ve heard a lot of people say “I can’t wait for Christmas”.   

I acknowledge Christmas is now very close. However, when we make a statement like “I can’t wait for Christmas”, even if it’s tomorrow, we are wishing our life away. 

When we say things like, “I can’t wait for Christmas,” we fall into the trap of wishing our life away, and we avoid enjoying the present moment. 

If the present moment is bringing us challenges, we are not taking the opportunity to see the benefits of those challenges, we are only seeing the negative in the situation.  This is one of the greatest causes of our stress.

All we have is right now, this very moment.  Stressing about tomorrow, stressing about everything that “has to” get done between now and Christmas is robbing us of the joy of right now.

Have the attitude of gratitude

When you are experiencing feelings of stress, remember that it is an opportunity to stop and to take check what’s happening for me right now. 

Ask yourself:

  1. Am I living to my own values and priorities or am I living to others’ expectations?
  2. Am I being given the opportunity to unlearn some habits that I formed as a small child?
  3. Am I being given the opportunity to learn to receive rather than give until I’ve got nothing left to give?
  4. Am I being given an opportunity to address the feelings that I have rather than making them who I am?
  5. Am I being given the opportunity to reflect on 2020 and see that everything – and I mean everything – that has happened to me is actually a blessing.

One of the best de-stressors is to stop, reflect, and count your blessings.  Stress is a state of being, but so is being truly grateful. 

Stress is hard, being grateful is hard. 

Choose your hard.

The next few weeks are a wonderful opportunity to set yourself up for whatever is ahead in the new year.

At Kaibizzen, we are more than just business coaches. If you are looking for life coaching Brisbane, we are here to assist you in achieving the business which works for you and your family, giving you the rewards you’ve worked so hard to achieve. Reach out for a confidential conversation about how, together, we can create a business which gives you and your family the time, the money and the freedom you’ve always wanted.

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02 Oct

Panel Discussion

Tuesday, 6:30pm Quest Cannon Hill

What does it take to actually remove yourself from the day-to-day grind of business? Learn from our panel of Business Owners who've Been There, Done That.

 

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